Finals gives me some of the most complicated feelings I will ever feel my whole life.
It's a nerve wrecking experience yet the most liberating experience at the same time.
I am guilty of so many ways of procrastinating during the exam period.
You get so nervous when the date of your paper is getting near but then you never do anything much about it. And just about few hours before, you'd start to go at it like a madman tangling yourself in a web of information until you can't really tell which is which.
In the hall, you frantically write out everything you can possibly remember until your hand hurts and you fingers are at the edge of bleeding.
Stand up, get out of the hall 30 minutes before the time limit and just feel.....free.
God, sometimes I swear that I'm addicted to this feeling.
When I'm just at home, minding my own business, being not...busy. I just miss school so much.
I'm not sure if there's anyone around that actually love finals like I do.
Sunday 28 December 2014
Wednesday 17 December 2014
Yellow
Yellow is my favourite colour.
and....
my favorite crush.
lol.
I find it extremely adorable when I found him commenting on my blog when he never even followed me on blogger nor Google+.
and...
How he never followed my Instagram but liked one of my pictures.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Awak stalk saya ye....
Ahaks. :p
and....
my favorite crush.
lol.
I find it extremely adorable when I found him commenting on my blog when he never even followed me on blogger nor Google+.
and...
How he never followed my Instagram but liked one of my pictures.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Awak stalk saya ye....
Ahaks. :p
Wednesday 3 December 2014
Thinking Too Much
I hate it when I drown in my own thoughts.
They're extremely dangerous.
It makes you lose track of time and frankly, lose track of reality too.
There's two separate realities if I dwell too much into my imagination. The one's that are in my head and the one's that I woke up to everyday.
Though unreal, the reality in my head is far more exhausting to be in. And as much as I hate for it to be so, it is apparently the dominant one at the moment.
Whatever happens in my real life, will affect my thoughts hence, the facade of a reality in my brain would morph into something else. More so, something bad.
I might sound like a mental case now. I guess, the only way to shut it down is to be in the 'now' more so I wouldn't lose grip of what's real and what's not.
Thinking too much isn't healthy.
Never have been, never will be.
They're extremely dangerous.
It makes you lose track of time and frankly, lose track of reality too.
There's two separate realities if I dwell too much into my imagination. The one's that are in my head and the one's that I woke up to everyday.
Though unreal, the reality in my head is far more exhausting to be in. And as much as I hate for it to be so, it is apparently the dominant one at the moment.
Whatever happens in my real life, will affect my thoughts hence, the facade of a reality in my brain would morph into something else. More so, something bad.
I might sound like a mental case now. I guess, the only way to shut it down is to be in the 'now' more so I wouldn't lose grip of what's real and what's not.
Thinking too much isn't healthy.
Never have been, never will be.
Monday 24 November 2014
Growing up
I find it much easier to simply delete everything now.
I used to be so attached to my blogs. The countless secret ones. The public ones. This account and that account. All by which pretty much uses the same passwords so I don't forget.
But lately, I find it much much easier to just click that Delete Account button.
No matter how much memory it holds.
No matter how much I would probably smile when looking back at those cringeworthy posts.
I decided. If it's going to be a liability when I am in the hereafter or perhaps even in this world itself (where interviewers does research on you by googling your name) , it is better deleted. Permanently.
So, I guess...
I'm growing up?
Change is good.
And I'm learning that it doesn't happen overnight too.
It takes years and years of practice.
Which leads to another thing.
I am contemplating about starting a Youtube channel.
Just audio logs.
In English.
For the sake of practicing.
Perhaps a bit of Japanese too?
And Arabic if it ever comes to that. Because I do want to be fluent in all these languages.
Ah, whatever it is.
They're still in the planning process.
So, don't put your hopes up.
I still have other things to settle.
Till we meet again.
I used to be so attached to my blogs. The countless secret ones. The public ones. This account and that account. All by which pretty much uses the same passwords so I don't forget.
But lately, I find it much much easier to just click that Delete Account button.
No matter how much memory it holds.
No matter how much I would probably smile when looking back at those cringeworthy posts.
I decided. If it's going to be a liability when I am in the hereafter or perhaps even in this world itself (where interviewers does research on you by googling your name) , it is better deleted. Permanently.
So, I guess...
I'm growing up?
Change is good.
And I'm learning that it doesn't happen overnight too.
It takes years and years of practice.
Which leads to another thing.
I am contemplating about starting a Youtube channel.
Just audio logs.
In English.
For the sake of practicing.
Perhaps a bit of Japanese too?
And Arabic if it ever comes to that. Because I do want to be fluent in all these languages.
Ah, whatever it is.
They're still in the planning process.
So, don't put your hopes up.
I still have other things to settle.
Till we meet again.
Tuesday 18 November 2014
Grammar Nazi
I admit. I cringe everytime I see a grammatical error.
Even if it comes from my own blog posts, assignments or what not.
Just now, my friend posted a speech he's going to perform on Instagram.
And my first reaction was,
Come and give me that piece of paper and let me correct it for you.
I commented on the photo, demanding him to email me the soft copy.
It irks me sooooo bad.
But upon asking him for the soft copy through Whatsapp,
I am now feeling like a total jerk.
But it must be done.
Just.
Cant.
Stand.
It.
Sigh~
Even if it comes from my own blog posts, assignments or what not.
Just now, my friend posted a speech he's going to perform on Instagram.
And my first reaction was,
Come and give me that piece of paper and let me correct it for you.
I commented on the photo, demanding him to email me the soft copy.
It irks me sooooo bad.
But upon asking him for the soft copy through Whatsapp,
I am now feeling like a total jerk.
But it must be done.
Just.
Cant.
Stand.
It.
Sigh~
Monday 27 October 2014
Uncle K
I've never yet had the motivation to write about what happened in Cambodia. But being in bed and sick made me miss this one particular Uncle that were with us as volunteers over there.
He is called Uncle K. Literally.
So, I have no idea why, but he adores me greatly.
I didn't notice it at first. When we were doing preparations for the trip, he remembered my name and often cared if whether I have eaten yet or what not. He is always always with a video cam in his hand. And recording us volunteers, he often calls my name to make me look at the camera.
Whenever I did something good, he praises me like I've did something incredible. Like when I was assigned to cleanup the place where they slaughter the cows, he goes on and on about how great I'm doing and why this is the reason he adored me.
It was strange. I felt awkward honestly. But you learn to get used to it.
Almost every morning, this Uncle K would make me whatever drink I want. If I wanted a mineral water, he'd open it up for me. If I wanted a chocolate drink, he'd go ahead and make it for me.
It was comfortable. Until people start talking about us.
See, Uncle K isn't married yet. But he is the age of my father. And though he is a bit on the good looking side, he still is the age of my father.
He gave me money one day, when I wanted to borrow 2usd to buy some prepaid Cambodian number. I wanted 2usd, but he gave me almost 20usd.
Next is when I wanted to buy something but haven't changed the Malaysian money to usd yet. So, I asked him to lend me about 10usd. As always, generously, he gave me 20usd and told me to keep it.
I was baffled but I went on anyway. Because, well, I'll pay him later.
When we finished our shopping spree, I saw Uncle K around the Central Market and said hi. He asked me what I bought and what not, then we small talk. He then looked at my plastic bag and insisted greatly on holding it for me.
I refused a lot of times until I finally gave in. It WAS heavy anyway.
Up till now, though he asked for my number, he never called to ask about how I'm doing. Unlike some other Auntie who said she misses my voice and called. She even went so far as to ask someone else my phone number.
And now that I'm in bed, feeling feverish and just sick, I miss being treated so caringly by Uncle K.
It gets to a point where I wonder all alone, in my bed, staring at the ceiling.
If you know that someone is going to treat you right, why does age matters when it comes to marriage?
He is called Uncle K. Literally.
So, I have no idea why, but he adores me greatly.
I didn't notice it at first. When we were doing preparations for the trip, he remembered my name and often cared if whether I have eaten yet or what not. He is always always with a video cam in his hand. And recording us volunteers, he often calls my name to make me look at the camera.
Whenever I did something good, he praises me like I've did something incredible. Like when I was assigned to cleanup the place where they slaughter the cows, he goes on and on about how great I'm doing and why this is the reason he adored me.
It was strange. I felt awkward honestly. But you learn to get used to it.
Almost every morning, this Uncle K would make me whatever drink I want. If I wanted a mineral water, he'd open it up for me. If I wanted a chocolate drink, he'd go ahead and make it for me.
It was comfortable. Until people start talking about us.
See, Uncle K isn't married yet. But he is the age of my father. And though he is a bit on the good looking side, he still is the age of my father.
He gave me money one day, when I wanted to borrow 2usd to buy some prepaid Cambodian number. I wanted 2usd, but he gave me almost 20usd.
Next is when I wanted to buy something but haven't changed the Malaysian money to usd yet. So, I asked him to lend me about 10usd. As always, generously, he gave me 20usd and told me to keep it.
I was baffled but I went on anyway. Because, well, I'll pay him later.
When we finished our shopping spree, I saw Uncle K around the Central Market and said hi. He asked me what I bought and what not, then we small talk. He then looked at my plastic bag and insisted greatly on holding it for me.
I refused a lot of times until I finally gave in. It WAS heavy anyway.
Up till now, though he asked for my number, he never called to ask about how I'm doing. Unlike some other Auntie who said she misses my voice and called. She even went so far as to ask someone else my phone number.
And now that I'm in bed, feeling feverish and just sick, I miss being treated so caringly by Uncle K.
It gets to a point where I wonder all alone, in my bed, staring at the ceiling.
If you know that someone is going to treat you right, why does age matters when it comes to marriage?
Sunday 14 September 2014
Careful what you wish for
If you're not afraid of God, then that's your problem.
I am.
Which is why I can't say things as I please.
For all on me is His.
I don't care what you think anymore.
You'll realize someday.
Faith is not something stupid.
I am.
Which is why I can't say things as I please.
For all on me is His.
I don't care what you think anymore.
You'll realize someday.
Faith is not something stupid.
Thursday 11 September 2014
God?
It is actually quite obvious how insecure and guarded I am by the way I always put my bag on my lap when I sit down regardless if there is or isn't any table in front of me.
I admit that I am not a very good pious Muslim. But I hold my religon very dearly to myself.
I once had a debate with someone regarding faith. I've actually been through this debate with myself but back then, I was very accepting to the facts I presented and researced while this person I debated with was not.
He tried to convince me that religon is man made. Something that people use to simply seek comfort.
Even when I brought up the debate I heard a while ago in which, if there is no God, then there will also be no morals, he refuses to agree. It's a bit ignorant not to consider that because for each person, what makes them feel good are different. One might feel good killing while some others might feel good helping. If there is no God in which also means there's no ground rules, then who are we to say that hurting someone else is wrong?
Plus, he presented an argument saying that human are narcisisstic to believe that they live for a purpose. He said that we exist by mere chance and that there is no purpose at all.
By then I had realized that arguing with him was somewhat pointless based on the fact that he believes that we are on top of the food chain (as he put it) was because we learned to eat everything else.
I mean, come on! We can freaking write books and share imaginations with other people. We can think and create rollercoasters that challenges the law of gravity. We can learn multiple languages at once and communicate through our fingers! How on earth can you NOT think that we are special and put us at the same level with apes?
If we evolved into such excellence, then why is there still apes around? If they were our brothers, then why haven't we save them but instead use them for entertainment? If we really did evolve from apes, and our minds have reached the level of making buildings and coming up with our own recipes, shouldn't the apes have at least learn how to write by now? Or at least speak english.
It's funny how atheists consider the people of faith as closed minded and just very traditional. Charles Darwin made a theory. Theories are not facts. They are meant to be challenged.
Now lastly, his question was, why Islam?
Well, have you ever come across history where they burn books and prohibited schools so that people will be dumb enough to just follow and not even for a second question their authority?
That my friend, is the act of people who are in the wrong.
But then, the Quran itself challenges their readers to 'put it to the test'. If you don't believe the words of this book is divine, then put it to the test. Moreover, it repeatedly tell us to THINK. Use your brain, your mind. Use it. Think. You will come across a lot of verses asking 'did you not think' or 'these are all signs for those who think'.
Did the Quran tells us to just follow and not think? No. It tells us to be intelligent. To question. To seek truth.
If they are man made words, then wouldn't the alleged author be worried if he was found to be lying this whole time after claiming the words were divine? Believe me, if that was man made, he wouldn't dare to challenge the reader to put those words to the test and summon them to use their minds.
I for one, am full of question marks. But one thing I am certain of is that, God exists. And that we are NOT created in vain.
Period.
I admit that I am not a very good pious Muslim. But I hold my religon very dearly to myself.
I once had a debate with someone regarding faith. I've actually been through this debate with myself but back then, I was very accepting to the facts I presented and researced while this person I debated with was not.
He tried to convince me that religon is man made. Something that people use to simply seek comfort.
Even when I brought up the debate I heard a while ago in which, if there is no God, then there will also be no morals, he refuses to agree. It's a bit ignorant not to consider that because for each person, what makes them feel good are different. One might feel good killing while some others might feel good helping. If there is no God in which also means there's no ground rules, then who are we to say that hurting someone else is wrong?
Plus, he presented an argument saying that human are narcisisstic to believe that they live for a purpose. He said that we exist by mere chance and that there is no purpose at all.
By then I had realized that arguing with him was somewhat pointless based on the fact that he believes that we are on top of the food chain (as he put it) was because we learned to eat everything else.
I mean, come on! We can freaking write books and share imaginations with other people. We can think and create rollercoasters that challenges the law of gravity. We can learn multiple languages at once and communicate through our fingers! How on earth can you NOT think that we are special and put us at the same level with apes?
If we evolved into such excellence, then why is there still apes around? If they were our brothers, then why haven't we save them but instead use them for entertainment? If we really did evolve from apes, and our minds have reached the level of making buildings and coming up with our own recipes, shouldn't the apes have at least learn how to write by now? Or at least speak english.
It's funny how atheists consider the people of faith as closed minded and just very traditional. Charles Darwin made a theory. Theories are not facts. They are meant to be challenged.
Now lastly, his question was, why Islam?
Well, have you ever come across history where they burn books and prohibited schools so that people will be dumb enough to just follow and not even for a second question their authority?
That my friend, is the act of people who are in the wrong.
But then, the Quran itself challenges their readers to 'put it to the test'. If you don't believe the words of this book is divine, then put it to the test. Moreover, it repeatedly tell us to THINK. Use your brain, your mind. Use it. Think. You will come across a lot of verses asking 'did you not think' or 'these are all signs for those who think'.
Did the Quran tells us to just follow and not think? No. It tells us to be intelligent. To question. To seek truth.
If they are man made words, then wouldn't the alleged author be worried if he was found to be lying this whole time after claiming the words were divine? Believe me, if that was man made, he wouldn't dare to challenge the reader to put those words to the test and summon them to use their minds.
I for one, am full of question marks. But one thing I am certain of is that, God exists. And that we are NOT created in vain.
Period.
Compliments
I don't particularly enjoy praises. I have no idea how to handle them. I blush, I get mad or I just become plain awkward.
I'd feel much much more comfortable if people can just tell me whatever praises they have in mind through their eyes and body language.
But then , somehow the boss in my part time workplace just makes me happy (though awkward) when she stares, smile and tells me I'm pretty almost everyday.
Don't get me wrong. I still feel awfully shy and awkward when it happens. That's never going to change.
However, when I work, I couldn't care less how I look like. I sweat, my face gets all oily and my hijab wont look as perfect. From Monday to Thursday I work and there are definitely days where I look like hell. Plus, I'm not exactly skinny. Am quite chubby too. Which is why her telling me I'm pretty despite all those things makes me feel like sunshine.
Alhamdulillah. Praise Allah for everything.
Today is a happy day. And quite frankly, I love working a bit more than studying.
:)
I'd feel much much more comfortable if people can just tell me whatever praises they have in mind through their eyes and body language.
But then , somehow the boss in my part time workplace just makes me happy (though awkward) when she stares, smile and tells me I'm pretty almost everyday.
Don't get me wrong. I still feel awfully shy and awkward when it happens. That's never going to change.
However, when I work, I couldn't care less how I look like. I sweat, my face gets all oily and my hijab wont look as perfect. From Monday to Thursday I work and there are definitely days where I look like hell. Plus, I'm not exactly skinny. Am quite chubby too. Which is why her telling me I'm pretty despite all those things makes me feel like sunshine.
Alhamdulillah. Praise Allah for everything.
Today is a happy day. And quite frankly, I love working a bit more than studying.
:)
Saturday 6 September 2014
...
It's amazing how
a few thought up sentences can destroy you completely.
And how it can make you uncontrollably sad
that you feel reluctant to get out of the shower so that no one will see your tear stained face.
And how no amount of tears seems to take the pain away.
Trust is a funny thing.
You learn to give it away,
and in a moment, it gives you thousands of reasons never to do it again.
.
.
.
.
.
Have you ever seen a heart ripped into pieces?
I thought mine got a little fracture few days ago.
But then,
today,
it got so torn that I was stunned at the sight of it.
Thank you. I guess...
a few thought up sentences can destroy you completely.
And how it can make you uncontrollably sad
that you feel reluctant to get out of the shower so that no one will see your tear stained face.
And how no amount of tears seems to take the pain away.
Trust is a funny thing.
You learn to give it away,
and in a moment, it gives you thousands of reasons never to do it again.
.
.
.
.
.
Have you ever seen a heart ripped into pieces?
I thought mine got a little fracture few days ago.
But then,
today,
it got so torn that I was stunned at the sight of it.
Thank you. I guess...
Saturday 23 August 2014
Cats
I used to think that I wouldn't cry if my cats ever die or go on missing.
Since it's been a while I last cried for an animal.
But after having 4 cats at once now,
I am suddenly very afraid of losing them.
Because I'm sure I'll miss the sweet smell of their shampoo-ed hair.
And their annoying expression right after a kiss.
How their hands and feet pushed my face away.
And the growls and the purrs that just make things complete.
I kept missing them when I'm on campus.
Especially the dembam Choco.
Ahh…just thinking about it gets me all teary.
Hoping they could live with us more years to come.
Hopefully, until I'm no longer feeling so attached.
But for now,
Please stay.
Since it's been a while I last cried for an animal.
But after having 4 cats at once now,
I am suddenly very afraid of losing them.
Because I'm sure I'll miss the sweet smell of their shampoo-ed hair.
And their annoying expression right after a kiss.
How their hands and feet pushed my face away.
And the growls and the purrs that just make things complete.
I kept missing them when I'm on campus.
Especially the dembam Choco.
Ahh…just thinking about it gets me all teary.
Hoping they could live with us more years to come.
Hopefully, until I'm no longer feeling so attached.
But for now,
Please stay.
Love,
Your annoying mastah
Sunday 17 August 2014
Unicorn Cloud
I saw a unicorn today.
It was enormous and majestic as ever.
Somehow, it made me feel all small and insignificant.
And I'm thinking that we should always look for signs this way.
Travel. Hiking. Stuff like that.
Ahhh~ Japannnn…
Matteru yo.
It was enormous and majestic as ever.
Somehow, it made me feel all small and insignificant.
And I'm thinking that we should always look for signs this way.
Travel. Hiking. Stuff like that.
Ahhh~ Japannnn…
Matteru yo.
Friday 8 August 2014
Dongsaeng
I have a younger brother.
He's in highschool.
His heart is probably more pure than I will ever wish to be.
He,
gave me an accidental compliment one day.
Which was hilarious but flattering at the same time.
And recently, I've had this thought stuck in my head.
If in this world,
He praises me or believes in me,
I'd probably need no one else.
Because it won't get any true than that.
Friends might flatter you out of courtesy.
And parents…well, they have to don't they?
But the brother whom you'll always tease,
someone who never in his right mind would say something good about you,
his words
is something I would definitely cherish.
:)
He's in highschool.
His heart is probably more pure than I will ever wish to be.
He,
gave me an accidental compliment one day.
Which was hilarious but flattering at the same time.
And recently, I've had this thought stuck in my head.
If in this world,
He praises me or believes in me,
I'd probably need no one else.
Because it won't get any true than that.
Friends might flatter you out of courtesy.
And parents…well, they have to don't they?
But the brother whom you'll always tease,
someone who never in his right mind would say something good about you,
his words
is something I would definitely cherish.
:)
Tuesday 22 July 2014
Enthusiasm
That was what gave the Halo effect.
Why people think I'm all positive and stuff.
When all the while I'm not all that positive.
Almost negative even.
Sigh
Why people think I'm all positive and stuff.
When all the while I'm not all that positive.
Almost negative even.
Sigh
Run
Physically, lying down is what I do best.
But mentally, it's running.
I need something exiting to give me back the zest for life.
Onegai.
But mentally, it's running.
I need something exiting to give me back the zest for life.
Onegai.
Sunday 20 July 2014
Tuesday 15 July 2014
Tuesday 8 July 2014
Melancholy
I was never one to give my heart away.
For fear of being hurt.
My pride never allowed me to cry for anybody at all.
But somehow, it's inevitable - being the human that I am.
I choked on the phone, and continued the conversation pretending my voice didn't almost cracked.
I didn't think she heard it.
I guess, people always just take a piece your heart away without you noticing.
And I guess, as much as someone hurt you without them noticing it,
You'll immediately miss them when there's something that reminds you of the memories.
And that's okay.
Because, you wouldn't know that you're alive unless you've cried.
For fear of being hurt.
My pride never allowed me to cry for anybody at all.
But somehow, it's inevitable - being the human that I am.
I choked on the phone, and continued the conversation pretending my voice didn't almost cracked.
I didn't think she heard it.
I guess, people always just take a piece your heart away without you noticing.
And I guess, as much as someone hurt you without them noticing it,
You'll immediately miss them when there's something that reminds you of the memories.
And that's okay.
Because, you wouldn't know that you're alive unless you've cried.
P/s: Getting a minor wound on my foot. Not being able to walk properly has made me a little emotional these past days. I apologize.
Reset
Like a reset button, my Tuesdays are spent with me doing nothing but what I can't do on other days.
How liberating it may sound, it doesn't feel as such.
It's just a comfort that I get when I feel too pressured by the other days I have to go through.
And come next rising sun, everything will be reset.
On with life.
No responsibilities on Tuesdays.
And come Wednesday, I'll have to face reality yet again.
How liberating it may sound, it doesn't feel as such.
It's just a comfort that I get when I feel too pressured by the other days I have to go through.
And come next rising sun, everything will be reset.
On with life.
No responsibilities on Tuesdays.
And come Wednesday, I'll have to face reality yet again.
Special
You know that time, when you heart feels warm from the tears you swallowed?
And suddenly you're unable to speak because you choked on your own breath and saliva.
You covered your mouth with your palm trying to stop yourself from crying.
But it burst out anyway.
Well, know that this is what makes you human.
Be proud of it.
None of the animals are able to do the same.
And suddenly you're unable to speak because you choked on your own breath and saliva.
You covered your mouth with your palm trying to stop yourself from crying.
But it burst out anyway.
Well, know that this is what makes you human.
Be proud of it.
None of the animals are able to do the same.
Monday 7 July 2014
Misconception
The biggest mistake that we've always done
is
assuming people have never changed at all.
is
assuming people have never changed at all.
Luka
Tiba-tiba airmata luruh macam hujan
Sakit setiap langkah,
Luka fizikal kecil,
Besar lagi robek dalaman.
yang lebih bisa bukannya kaki, tapi hati.
Tak cukupkah apa yang aku dah buat?
Kenapa mesti lihat apa yang kurang?
Tulah katanya.
.
.
.
.
Mungkin…ya.
Kerana bagaimanapun mereka,
KAU yang perlu bersabar. Bukan dia.
Allah…
.
.
.
.
Kuatkan lah aku.
Sakit setiap langkah,
Luka fizikal kecil,
Besar lagi robek dalaman.
yang lebih bisa bukannya kaki, tapi hati.
Tak cukupkah apa yang aku dah buat?
Kenapa mesti lihat apa yang kurang?
Tulah katanya.
.
.
.
.
Mungkin…ya.
Kerana bagaimanapun mereka,
KAU yang perlu bersabar. Bukan dia.
Allah…
.
.
.
.
Kuatkan lah aku.
Tuesday 1 July 2014
Paras
Seindah mata birunya
Secomel bibir merahnya
Sebesar bola matanya
Percayalah,
itu bukanlah segala-gala…
Bila kau yang lebih perlu untuk berjaga-jaga,
Alangkah sukarnya.
Bila salah mereka dituduh salahmu juga,
Alangkah sakitnya.
Biarlah,
Menjadi yang biasa.
Usah dikejar pandang manusia.
Yang megahnya hanya akan membuatmu derita
Kelak,
Di akhirat sana.
Secomel bibir merahnya
Sebesar bola matanya
Percayalah,
itu bukanlah segala-gala…
Bila kau yang lebih perlu untuk berjaga-jaga,
Alangkah sukarnya.
Bila salah mereka dituduh salahmu juga,
Alangkah sakitnya.
Biarlah,
Menjadi yang biasa.
Usah dikejar pandang manusia.
Yang megahnya hanya akan membuatmu derita
Kelak,
Di akhirat sana.
Just Do What You Do Best
Somehow, when I begin writing, I don't know when to stop.
When I get mad at something, I tend to take a while to cool off.
And now, the thing that irritates me so much at 4 p.m. is finally behind me.
So I guess, precisely, about 7 hours?
.
.
.
Watching other people being strong gives me strength.
Watching other people's hardwork motivates me.
Watching other people being nice mesmerises me.
It's amazing.
What you can do just by doing what you do best.
I hope one day, I can be that person too.
When I get mad at something, I tend to take a while to cool off.
And now, the thing that irritates me so much at 4 p.m. is finally behind me.
So I guess, precisely, about 7 hours?
.
.
.
Watching other people being strong gives me strength.
Watching other people's hardwork motivates me.
Watching other people being nice mesmerises me.
It's amazing.
What you can do just by doing what you do best.
I hope one day, I can be that person too.
Yuttie san
Whenever you're unsure of yourself, just take a glance back.
Read your diary out loud and you'll see…
There's nothing to be unsure of.
You're still listening to Taylor Swift even after 7 years.
And you still desperately want to go to Japan .
Something went wrong? Then simply smile.
And say,
'don't sweat over small things. wakachiko, wakachiko'
hahah.
Read your diary out loud and you'll see…
There's nothing to be unsure of.
You're still listening to Taylor Swift even after 7 years.
And you still desperately want to go to Japan .
Something went wrong? Then simply smile.
And say,
'don't sweat over small things. wakachiko, wakachiko'
hahah.
Chiisai
Sedikit demi sedikit
Aku semakin sedar akan kecilnya diri…
Terlalu kecil….
Tanpa Allah,
Maka jadilah semakin kecil.
Hanya dengan menyerah sepenuh-penuh kepada Dia,
Barulah mampu untuk menjadi besar.
Kejar akhirat sayang…
Dan dunia seisinya akan tunduk.
Berapa banyak kali mahu diingatkan?
Haih... tak mengapalah.
Memang manusia itu mudah lupa…
Lebih-lebih lagi kau yang telefon di poket pun boleh ditanya lagi "mana".
Aku semakin sedar akan kecilnya diri…
Terlalu kecil….
Tanpa Allah,
Maka jadilah semakin kecil.
Hanya dengan menyerah sepenuh-penuh kepada Dia,
Barulah mampu untuk menjadi besar.
Kejar akhirat sayang…
Dan dunia seisinya akan tunduk.
Berapa banyak kali mahu diingatkan?
Haih... tak mengapalah.
Memang manusia itu mudah lupa…
Lebih-lebih lagi kau yang telefon di poket pun boleh ditanya lagi "mana".
Monday 30 June 2014
Menulis
Lain orang, lain coraknya.
Penulisannya,
Gaya penyampaiannya,
Penerimaannya.
Apa ada yang rindu sama tulisan aku?
Barangkali…aku pun kurang pasti.
Tapi yang penting,
Kalau aku tak sudi nak keluarkan apa yang ada dalam kepala aku.
Maka tak siapa lain mampu untuk paksa.
Takkan tertulis sendiri setiap satu fikiran dan monolog dalaman.
Yang membentuk kita sebagai kita.
Unik.
Hanya kita yang boleh jadi kita.
Remember,
and
Be happy,
just for that one simple fact.
Penulisannya,
Gaya penyampaiannya,
Penerimaannya.
Apa ada yang rindu sama tulisan aku?
Barangkali…aku pun kurang pasti.
Tapi yang penting,
Kalau aku tak sudi nak keluarkan apa yang ada dalam kepala aku.
Maka tak siapa lain mampu untuk paksa.
Takkan tertulis sendiri setiap satu fikiran dan monolog dalaman.
Yang membentuk kita sebagai kita.
Unik.
Hanya kita yang boleh jadi kita.
Remember,
and
Be happy,
just for that one simple fact.
Ribut
Kalau ikhlas, pasti kan jelas.
Terasa di hati, mempengaruhi emosi.
Senyum aku yang melebar dek keikhlasan mereka menghibur.
Ah, indahnya hidup andai mampu jadi 'selfless'…
Entahkan bila.
Terasa di hati, mempengaruhi emosi.
Senyum aku yang melebar dek keikhlasan mereka menghibur.
Ah, indahnya hidup andai mampu jadi 'selfless'…
Entahkan bila.
Tuesday 3 June 2014
Constant
"Kalau ada hal yang lebih penting, priority mana yang patut. Jangan kerana misi (baca: program) ,kerja lain tertunggak. Soft reminder."
Aku senyum, baca whatsapp daripada seorang sahabat berkenaan booking flight pada hari ada kelas untuk ke program luar bulan 10 nanti. Dan aku terfikir. Itu future. Kan ke kalau flight tu dah jadi constant, benda lain lah yang kita akan adjust untuk disesuaikan dengan satu constant tu.
Kalau ada kuiz, tunda atau awalkan.
Kalau ada assignment, siapkan siang-siang.
Kalau ada tanggungjawab program lain, dah tahu tarikh bercanggah, jangan ambik.
Tapi, bukan itu yang aku nak cerita.
Sebenarnya, kita selalu adjust diri kita mengikut orang. Sampaikan satu masa, yang tak elok pun kita terikut-ikut. Alasannya? Sesuaikan diri.
Memandangkan banyak petak kelabu yang wujud dalam hidup kita sehari-hari, kita jadi musykil untuk pilih. Nak flexible ke nak rigid?
Bila kita pilih untuk rigid misalnya dalam isu 'bonding' dengan rakan sekerja bukan sama jantina. Tapi orang lain pandang kita macam keputusan tu salah sebab mereka pilih flexible. Apa kau nak buat?
Bila kita pilih untuk flexible misalnya dalam isu bekerja dalam perbankan conventional. Tapi orang lain pandang kita macam keputusan tu salah sebab mereka pilih rigid. Apa kau nak buat?
Di sinilah, kau kena belajar untuk jadi CONSTANT.
Malar yang tak berubah yang mana benda tu kau dah percaya betul dan kau ada pendirian kau kenapa kau pilih satu-satu jalan tu.
Kau kena belajar yang SEMUA ORANG ada pendapat. Ada pandangan.
Dan KAU juga perlu ada perspektif yang tersendiri.
Biar orang nak kata apa. Selagi benda tu tak bercanggah dengan Syari'ah. Jadilah seorang yang constant. Dan biar orang lain yang adjust kepada kau.
Sebab kalau kau asyik nak ikut orang, kau akan mudah untuk jatuh terjelepuk atas tanah.
Be your own person.
If you can't have your own standings, how do you expect to stand at all?
Monday 26 May 2014
Mata
Penjagaan yang rapi perlu untuk nikmat Allah yang satu ini.
Sebab banyak dosa yang boleh kau ternak dengan dua bebola ni.
Kau pandang dia,
Dia pandang kau.
Kau toleh lagi,
Dia pun toleh jugak.
Kesudahannya?
Kau balik rumah fikir pasal dia.
Apa perasaan kau kalau bakal suami/isteri sebenar kau tengah buat macam tu sekarang ni?
Agak-agak seronok ke?
Sayangku,
Bersabarlah dalam istiqamah untuk berbuat kebaikan.
Semoga Allah akan ganjarkan dengan Syurga.
Sunday 25 May 2014
Things Passing By
Today, in the bus,
I chose a seat facing backwards.
The view was really...
new.
It feels quite...lonely.
Watching everything get left behind as we move forward.
And to be honest, I don't think I will ever want to choose that seat again.
Because glancing back for too long is never a good idea.
Like a quote once said,
I chose a seat facing backwards.
The view was really...
new.
It feels quite...lonely.
Watching everything get left behind as we move forward.
And to be honest, I don't think I will ever want to choose that seat again.
Because glancing back for too long is never a good idea.
Like a quote once said,
"You can't start the next chapter if you keep re-reading the last one"
Friday 23 May 2014
Binge
Binge eating cheesecakes,
Binge watching youtube,
Binge drinking mango milkshakes,
When are you going to start binge reading the Quran?
Ohoi~
Binge watching youtube,
Binge drinking mango milkshakes,
When are you going to start binge reading the Quran?
Ohoi~
Baru
kau robek topeng
bila tiba di tempat asing
dan bibirmu pun mengeluh lega
kebimbangan yang ketara
saat di kelilingmu ada mata
membuat kau lari meninggalkan semua
tak bersisa
bebaslah sayang
terbang
dan menarilah di awanan
yang sering kau pandang
apa tertinggal itu biarkanlah di belakang
tenggelam
dan hilang...
bila tiba di tempat asing
dan bibirmu pun mengeluh lega
kebimbangan yang ketara
saat di kelilingmu ada mata
membuat kau lari meninggalkan semua
tak bersisa
bebaslah sayang
terbang
dan menarilah di awanan
yang sering kau pandang
apa tertinggal itu biarkanlah di belakang
tenggelam
dan hilang...
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